The Ever Expanding Laff List of Laura and Dannii!!!
1. Daves purple sparkley mini-brush
2. Squidgy bums in lycra
3. Donkey from Shrek
4. boB boB boB boB, jim, boB boB boB boB boB, uugh!
5. Rich and Lauras note when Dannii was piddled!
6. Dannii: "I reek of alcohol, vomit and cheap perfume. I feel like a whore."
7. Mikado speil game!
8. A friend called Doniel who is a smocial soaker of ciggierettes, speaks Hinbrew and studies Marine Biolodgie!
9. 1066, Battle of Hastings!
10. But now! Let us dedicate ourselves t'spirit of Chess!
11. I am Dionysus!!
12. Flannel/Bubble/Lemon/Philanthropist
13. Prune/Spanner/Muffin
14. Ssh . . . sh . . . sh . . .
15. "Bottle tops." Said in a v.posh voice
16. Stereo sound!
17. Fit firemen and pianists at the Grange
18. Beheaded alive/cocktail
19. Goodge street/Tottenham Court Road/Cockfosters/ Tooting Broadway
20. Hair flirting
21. Diva head flick during Dannii's songs
22. Singing Fame down Euston Station/Singing by the Royal National Theatre
23. Scally Mosha girl!
24. Modern version of "A Midsummer Nights Dream"
25. Staying up till 4:00 and not remembering what we talked about!! (and we were sober!)
26. Getting to London and back in an old banger with no seatbelts in the back seat that sounded like the engine was falling off!
27. Walking round London in 6" heel strappy sandles/bare feet!
28. Drinking a bottle of taboo between us in 1 1/2 hrs!
29. Ordering a fit pizza delivery boy!
30. HAVING 30 PRIVATE JOKES!!!!
31. Annoying little girls called Megan who think Dannii's the Devil!
32. "Can You taste the difference?"
33. The Not-Insane Theory
34. The Nokia ringtone!!! Aargh!!
35. Grrr. . .
36. Gareth and Will the fit violinists in town
37. Ronan Keating in a baroque style!
38. The butterfly in Japan who is responsible for everything!
39. Who'd make a good Heathcliff
40. Self-destructive natures
41. You two-timing sod song
42. Dinky ickle Japanese people!
43. Starting a round of applause in town!
44. The Mambo no'5 dance
45. Oooze intelligence - with hand movements!
46. The gods playing games on the way to Hegatoriall
47. The bald guy in Bella Pasta
48. Scaring the lost guy in the forum!
49. Laura punching the punchbag while piddly and falling backwards out of the stable door.
50. "Are you defecting TOO sir?!!!!"
51. Thursday/Friday nights Mikado performances!
52. Norris/Cyrril/Norman
53. Substitute (from the Mikado and Yeoman of the Guard!)
54. The wedding dresses in the Mikado and Yeoman being the same material!
55. Strange theatre critics who serve bowls of wine!
56. The whole of Bridget Jones' Diary
57. The opening paragraph of Pride and Prejudice
58. Writing Private jokes on a napkin
59. The word sueing when it sounds like screwing!
60. HAVING 60 PRIVATE JOKES!!
61. Petes Vampire face
62. The Victory walk
63. The Oliver/Consider Yourself walk
64. Being far to GIRLY for our own good
65. The "We need a life" conversation
66. Being notoriously bad at taking stuff back to libraries!
67. "Oh f**k the fish!"
68. The pink tassley knickers conversation
69. The mountain duet from Chess
70. The Sure advert:- "He's seen you naked . . ."
71. The Queens face drawing outside the English classrooms!
72. The smirnoff/theatre advert
73. The hazel tree
74. Daves white chocolate
75. The word poor when pronounced poo-er
76. Revels - the chocolate
77. Pink sparkley ties
78. The scottish doctor in Caucasian Chalk Circle
79. The boats making Hegatoriall rock!
80. Being far too alike!
81. Singing at inappropriate times
82. Quoting from Shrek - also at inappropriate times!
83. Terrifying the new theatre studies teacher
84. The crisp shaped like Dannii's shoe!!
85. The Kama-sutra couple on the London bench
86. Laura's bag strap
87. Stealing lighters from hangover victims
88. Not doing work, writing a laff list!
89. Beafraid!
90. HAVING 90 PRIVATE JOKES!!
91. Roack instead of rock!
92. Trollope - the author, when spoken by G.K.!
93. Wysiwyg - Also courtesy of G.K.!
94. The Devil Incarnate song from Heathcliff the musical!
95. The constipated woman from the GCSE music exam tapes!
96. The constipated man from the Caucasian Chalk Circle video!
97. The "Dance to the music" song from the end of the Shrek video. You have to do the dance to it as well though!
98. The plague/lurgy/cooties
99. The granny conversation: "I can't remember what I had for breakfast."
100. Laura being scared at Dannii's house by the Exorcist music
101. Rain that gets you wet
102. "The little people."
103. Oxymorons!
104. Dannii's life story!
105. The Kings boys running around Hegatoriall!!
106. The double consonants theory.
107. Latin: Schip, schip, schipu! - GK
108. Weird dreams
109. Dannii&Laura's luverly tidy costume cupboard
110. "Excursion Steamer" when said with a Lancashire accent!
111. The "Build me Up" song
112. Having to go to Court! And Laura not knowing her date of birth!!
113. Planning (not wearing) identical outfits.
114. Beating Joe and Chris Kay at Court!!
115. "Jessie..." from Theatre Studies script
116. "Colin! Colin!" Also from TS script!
117. Bein stuck on a train between Crewe and Chester for 2 1/2 hours!
118. Titanic song - "go on"!
119. Having palpatations
120. "Vibrato" in v.posh voice
121. Stealing other people's private jokes!(see above for an eg.)
122. Dannii writing in her diary when piddled!
123. Fit Army blokes! :o)
124. The bottom of Laura's glass falling off!!
125. Posh lady on the wrong train on the way to London
126. Loads n' loads of gorgeous men in suits
127. Random fits of unexplained laughter
128. Bleugh... :oP
129. Going all the way to the Savoy theatre just to ring people and tell them!
130. 11 Starbucks in 10 minutes!
131. The Starbucks/Pret a Manger theory
132. Walking past the same pub 5 times!
133. Screaming in the middle of a street in London
134. Nearly showing up at the weird theatre critics house
135. Not getting lost in London, even though we were on our own! V.Proud!
136. Having to be bodily wrestled out of Claires
137. The moody doorman at the Savoy
138. 14 of us legging it across three roads, over a wall, down the Thames embankment, over the Millennium Bridge and up to the Globe theatre coz we were late!
139. Predicting that things will happen, then having them happen!
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140. The 5 things we would take to a desert island
141. The weird story game
142. Weird is spelt E.I. not I.E. Laura!!
143. The woman on the train knowing EXACTLY what Dannii is like after only speaking to us for 5mins!
144. Being consistantly indecisive
145. The mardy medical secretary
146. The bizzare conversation with the piddly person in Wetherspoons
147. Lennox being a fit arsehole
148. Pulling in EVERY bar we went into!
149. Ceri saying "Dave"
150. HAVING 150 PRIVATE JOKES!
151. The la-la mood
152. Bitch troll from hell!
153. Friend called Wuz...
154. Laura's granddad being piddly!
155. Dancing in Laura's kitchen to Whigfield at 3am!
156. The lad trying to undress Laura in Joes!
157. Laura trying to undress **** in Joes!!
158. Abbies identity crisis
159. Miss C. getting something wrong!
160. hahahahahaha! whoohoo!
161. The re-sit joke
162. Mr Kelly's accents
163. G.K. as Che Guevera
164. Bob and Fred
165. Dannii shrinking
166. Thhe sex toy in Ann Summers
167. Forgetting the law of gravity
168. Laura's hand movements
169. Dannii's demonic pout
170. "The Face"
171. The goggly-eyed man from EVERY bar!
172. The curly-haired girl from every bar!
173. The sex-on-the-beach smoothie
174. Mr Kelly's/Miss Fletchers English lessons
175. Joe doing "Head Boy" stuff
176. The nasty-pasty
177. The serial bra
178. Hee hee ha ha - with hand movements
179. The orange page situation
180. Dannii's grandparents dancing in Blackpool
181. Treading in every flippin puddle in Blackpool
182. The men offering us a "Free demonstration"
183. Being v.v.windblown at the cafe
184. The show being sex with magic tricks
185. "Pointing the finger"
186. Finger licking good!
187. Getting stuck in the revolving door
188. Can't you get it up through the straw?
189. What Dannii was told in McDonalds (big secret but hilariously funny!)
190. OMIGOD!! OMIGOD!! OMIGOD!!
191. The Mary Poppins medicine milkshake
192. Jade: "Why? What were you doing?"
193. "Fuck the Fish" cocktail.
194. Everyone yelling at Pete down the phone
195. Vodka jelly babies
196. Dannii being in pain
197. The e-mode website
198. Being a chiuahua!
199. The very repetetive music channels
200. HAVING 200 PRIVATE JOKES!!!!!!!
201. Belm! - said on-stage!
202. Length, width, preference?
203. The ritual of the pink socks
204. The Las Ketchup song. (sung in drama!)
205. Genetic knowledge of Abba and Beatles songs
206. The lunchroom documentary
207. WHAT came first...?
208. Laura's bus driver being called Bob
209. Another Lancashire lad called Dave
210. "I'll do it tomorrow."
211. The Lancshacalada
212. Marcus Merk becoming Morcus Markson
213. Binky!! (Rufus binx)
214. Slinky down the books
215. Deep and meaningful conversation.
216. Laura having a v.low opinion of Dannii's prezzie-buying abilities.
217. Keeping a backwards diary
218. Luciana's low opinion of Laura
219. The Inganno family tree
220. Watching Disney movies all night
221. Ben getting stoned and telling Pete he was crap in bed
222. Fuzzy Duck
223. English Lessons being about sex and homosexuality. All year.
224. Joe/Show? It sounds the same Laura!
225. Binky, binky, everyone loves a binky!
226. Willie wonderpants
227. WILLIES!!!!!!
228. Old man in Rosies
229. Monkay Dance
210. Piddly family in RB's
211. Rufus Binx being about 11 foot
212. Man trying to hump Dannii in Walkabout
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